Disappointing the kids – AGAIN

Sometimes being mummy really does suck and parenting through a pandemic is one of those times.  I am so sick of disappointing the kids…  I know that we are lucky that the worst thing that the pandemic has done to us is that we have had to cancel plans, but I just hate having to always be the one to break the bad news and disappointing the kids is so depressing.

Self Isolation Woes

We have been really really lucky that we haven’t had to do full stints of isolation, but as I write this we are awaiting test results for one of the kids and so the whole family is self isolating and once again I have had to tell the kids that the plans we had for this weekend aren’t happening and I have had enough of it.  

Living with the constant pit of anxiety in the stomach every time you have put anything on the calendar is really wearing me down at this stage.  I think its the pressure of trying to put a positive spin on stuff that isn’t that positive is just too much. 

Mums I know you feel this too!  None of us want our kids to feel the stress of the current situation and so we try to shield them from it as much as possible and that really puts lots of pressure on us.  

If you have been struggling with anxiety I know how you feel and you might find these posts uplifting and helpful.  Remember though I am only an anxiety expert because I deal with my own and if you are struggling I urge you to stick professional help.

Honestly I am just having a bit of a moan as just this week I have had to tell the kids that parents weren’t allowed at Sports Day and that Sports Day was then cancelled and finally that we couldn’t go on a planned boat trip or to the Tower of London.   Thankfully the school were amazing and were able to salvage a fake sports day at school despite the rain so that eased the blow, but just seeing their little faces when I told them that it was cancelled was heart breaking.

Techniques I have used to help stop disappointing the kids

I have been trying to help myself and help the kids by not actually adding things to the calendar.  I figure that if I don’t add stuff onto there the boys won’t be able to read the plans and if they don’t know about it they can’t be disappointed.  It doesn’t work for everything as there are some things that we do every year like camping with other families from their year groups which I can’t avoid having to talk about as they keep asking me!  

I am also very vague about whether things are happening or not whenever I can be.  So for example we are supposed to be going to France in August, but when the kids ask what we are doing for the summer this year I am just saying we haven’t decided yet and we will be doing something. 

I have found Mind UK really useful as well for getting ideas for helping the kids deal with disappointment and being resilient to all this uncertainty and change.

Ultimately they don’t care where we go or what we do.  Last year when we stayed in the UK they had just as much fun (so did I actually) as we ever do abroad.  It was different, but not worse.  However, I can still remember when we had to tell them that we couldn’t go on our French holiday last year and how upset they were.  Disappointing the kids is just awful.  It feels all wrong to be the one who has to do that to them and I hate it!

Changing rules

I am really pleased that the rules will soon be changing on isolating as hopefully we can all start to move on from this situation of never knowing what we can and can’t do, but it is hard to reconcile that feeling with the fear of the kids getting the virus.  The husband and I are vaccinated so feel safer, but the kids, of course, are not and although I know they will likely barely even notice it I still feel concerned.

Still I do understand that we need to learn to live with it and find ways of continuing with our lives.  We certainly can’t continue forever with us having to stop our lives every few weeks.  The way the current isolation rules work our family of 6 could be in isolation for weeks on end if my little girl’s test comes back positive tomorrow and it will definitely mean disappointing the kids again.

How do you feel about the upcoming changes to the rules?

I hope you will all forgive me this moany post, but I think we are all allowed to have the hump sometimes.  This pandemic has gotten us all down at points I think and the thought of having the kids home schooling again for 10 days is overwhelming me today. 

So keep your fingers crossed for me that we get a negative test and we can move forwards and I don’t have to be disappointing the kids anymore this week!  Also even if you aren’t English keep your fingers crossed for us to win in the Euro finals as that will really cheer this household up and give the kids something to be super excited about…