So what’s it like having two children? This is a question I asked anyone and everyone from about 6 months pregnant with my second. It was at this point that I began to freak out. Would I be able to cope? How would I manage and balance the needs of both? Everyone assured me it was busy but basically no drama. Everyone that is except for my mother who said this will be the worst year of your life but it gets better… Now she is, by her own admission, not a baby person, but nonetheless her words put the fear of god into me and so will trepidation and excitement we prepared for our new arrival.
We are now 1 year into this new part of our journey and I think we are navigating having two children fairly well. In the most part people were right it is busy but fabulous. I have discovered that everything hinges around how compliant the toddler is feeling so if they are in a good mood then all is well and you can achieve things such as attending playgroups, but if they are not willing then forget about doing anything as it is neigh on impossible to move the immovable object that is a tantruming toddler and often you just don’t have the time to argue with them or coax them out if the tantrum with diversionary tactics.
The most difficult thing I have found is being able to meet both of their needs and in doing so this does sometimes mean one does not get what they want straightaway, but perhaps this is an important life lesson they are learning. I think the second child is easier to deal with as a result. They don’t know anything different so they accept willingly that you need to set the other one up with a activity before they can have that cuddle. It is harder to get the first child used to undivided attention used to waiting for their turn, but you will get there and they will adapt.
Thinking back on my mums words I don’t think this is the worst year it is just lovely having two children and I feel truly blessed after our conception journey, but there have certainly been dark times too. Financially it has been a struggle with me not returning to work and being exhausted after night feeds and having to run around with a toddler does not make for a fun me! We have also had lots of colds and bugs this year and having two children means double the length of illness as invariably one gets it and then the other does. Having two children does also put huge pressure on your relationship as you are both tired and having little or no time for one another so you have to prioritise that part of your life too. Just another thing to fit in and juggle. However, by far the biggest casualty of all is the house… It constantly looks like a bombs hit it and I just don’t have the time to care!
Having two children close together like mine also means a ready mate playmate and even now at almost 3 and 1 they are starting to play together and constantly make each laugh. It is this that is the absolute highlight of my day. Other real
plus points are the eldest learning to share and having a baby each to cuddle at bedtime.
So would I recommend having two children? Yes I totally would but be prepared for chaos and disorder and if they are boys lots of muddy boots.
The question now is whether to go for
a number 3…. Watch this space
Below is an example of a typical mud weekday:
6:45am awake and milk
7:30am getting dressed
8:45am organising stuff to take out and getting both into buggy
9am going to a playgroup
11am nappy change and potty pit stop
11:30am back home for lunch
12pm lunch whilst I pack buggy for afternoon
12:30pm nappy change, potty pit stop then nap
1pm my lunch and cleaning something
1:30pm everyone up, changed and into buggy
2pm swimming lessons
3pm snack and home
3:30pm playtime in garden
4:30pm making dinner
4:45pm nappy change and potty put stop
5:30pm daddy home and dinner
6:30pm playtime with daddy
7pm bath time and other parent cleaning kitchen and preparing milk
8:00pm ironing or preparing for work
11pm time to sit down before bed