Abandon ship: potty training disaster

Potty training disaster – run, save yourselves, big boy pants overboard and mummy considering following them!! Today has been the worst day of mummyhood ever.  I can’t even dress this up as being funny – it wasn’t!

We have had to abandon all attempts at potty training and I am literally devastated I feel like the worst mummy ever.  I have failed dismally and I just cannot find a way to fix it at the moment.  I have been crying, my toddler has been crying and daddy has had better days too as I have had to call him at work…

potty training

Over the past month he has been doing really well and has had so many dry days and has even been doing poos in the potty.  He has been so proud of himself and I have been so proud too as he is still only just over two really, but in the past week something has gone wrong.  He has been wetting more and more frequently and yesterday I used about 12 pairs of pants it was relentless and I have had my suspicions that he has been starting to do it on purpose as many times he has walked over to his puzzles spread his legs and weed directly onto the completed puzzle.

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Today he took it one step further…  I risked a trip out and we went to Clapham Junction to watch the trains which he likes to do.  He was so good and asked to do a wee and had no accidents all morning so I said I would take him to pizza express for a treat.  Whilst we were eating I noticed frequent smells and so I knew he needed to do a poo.  I asked him and he said no.  He then kept insisting that he wanted to go upstairs to where the toilet is, but after these little girls who were chasing one another around.  I told him no as I thought he just wanted to run around – what an idiot I am!! He was obviously telling me he wanted to go to the loo.  Anyway of course the result was a poo in his pants.  I realised straight away this was my fault and we headed to the toilet,  but I didn’t know that there were more toilets on the same floor as me which had changing stations so I took him upstairs and there was nothing.  I had to sit the baby on the floor and attempt to change the toddler.  It was impossible and then it began…  He started putting his hand in the poo and smearing it onto the wall.  I said no, but he just did it more.  He then weed all over me and laughed.  I was furious and just couldn’t help shouting.  It is the first time that I have ever really shouted at him and lost my cool.

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By the time I got everything cleared up all three of us was crying and we abandoned the rest of our pizza and left.  Thank goodness I had already paid as I was just desperate to leave.  I have decided it is not right to continue at the moment. I know all the books say once the nappy comes off it stays off, but I just can’t do it anymore.  My toddler has changed from a happy sweet little boy to one who hits me and smears poo on walls on purpose.  I know it could be terrible twos, but I just feel it is all about the potty training.  I don’t know why it has gone so wrong, but I am not doing it anymore and despite feeling sad today I also feel relief so maybe I wasn’t really ready and neither was he.  So we retire hurt and will need to lick our wounds for a while before trying to navigate this minefield again

P.S.  It is now one month after I wrote this post and I just wanted to update.  Almost immediately after going back to the nappy he went back to being himself and has said no more potty.  I have promised him we will wait until he tells me he wants to do it again so who knows when that will be.

I have a theory about what went wrong.  We were having a loft conversion done at the time and that week the new stairs went it which meant lots of disruption and we had to keep moving his potty.  This unfortunately coincided with his key worker at nursery going on holiday and I think it was just all too much.  I should have thought about all this in advance.

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