So you are well into the dynamic of having a baby and you are over the shock to the system that is first time parenting and you start to think… We could do this again! So you start planning baby number 2, but what do you need to consider when planning baby number 2 and is there perhaps even more to take into account than first time round? In this post we will share everything you need to consider when planning baby number 2.
Housework, intimacy, and finances aren’t usually very high up on the talking points when you are thinking about having baby number 2 and, although thinking about a new addition to the family is exciting, it can also be daunting and there are things that every parent has to consider. These are the conversations we have to have when planning baby number 2.
You have to think about the change to family dynamics, the process of trying to conceive as of course none of can simply assume that it will happen exactly the same as it did the first time. If there are fertility issues then timing could be even more important and if you need to have an IVF procedure or some other fertility intervention you may also need to consider finances more.
Take it from someone who knows you should also talk about whether you could afford to have more than one child if you were to become pregnant with multiples. We made a conscious choice to continue with taking the fertility drug (clomid) that I need to take to become pregnant despite the increased chances of having twins and low and behold 2 kids became 4!
Whether it’s your first child, second, third, fourth, or fifth, adding another child to your household can have an effect on a lot. Especially in areas like work and home schedules, sleep patterns, finances, and intimacy. All of which are often forgotten about, but after having your first child adding a second into the mix really does seem to be a bigger shift in my experience.
Everything really ramps up a gear; the expense, the noise and the amount of things to be done so it is important to just think these things through. Having said that if everyone waited for the perfect time and the perfect situation for planning baby number 2 then there would be a lot more only children.
With that said the best way to prepare yourself is to plan. You need to talk about all the areas of your life, and make adjustments.
If you are planning baby number 2 to your family you might want to discuss some of the following:
Your Family Finances
Adding another child to the household is inevitably going to increase your family expenses. If you are going to be first-time parents, you need to think about all the essentials such as a cot, car seat, clothes, and stroller, however, if this a second or more child, you may already have some items to use. Although you will have maternity leave, you should also factor in the increase in costs of things such as childcare if you are going to return to work.
Having a family budget in place that allows for these extra costs can be really helpful.
If you are both working parents you need to talk about the return-to-work. Will your work schedule need to change to pick up your new baby? Who will do the pickup and drop off? If you already have children, you need to think about how this new routine will fit in with the existing routine. For example, will nap times interfere with any clubs or things such as preschool? You may need to divide your time a little better.
When you are introducing a new sibling, you need to ensure you are involving your older children. Let them choose a few toys for the new baby, or to come to your midwife appointments and listen to their heartbeat. We also got the baby to give the older child a gift which seemed to lessen the blow.
We have found that making time for the older children makes the world of difference so even if it was just taking the elder ones out for a hot chocolate we always made sure that both mummy and daddy still had one to one time with our el der children when babies arrived.
Extra Household Chores
In the first few weeks after the baby’s arrival, you need to focus on connecting with your new arrival and the entire family. Sleep and wat, but don’t stress over writing thank you notes r keeping the house immaculate. Try to limit the errands you both need to make, especially if you need to have a C-section as you won’t be able to drive for a while. Neither of you should be shy about asking for help from family and friends, especially when it comes to picking up a few bits from the shop or running the hoover around when they visit.
When planning baby number 2 you need to think about practicalities. Such as how will you shower if the toddler and the baby are left alone together, how will you manoeuvre both children around. Do you need a new buggy or do you need to start getting older child ready to use a scooter or walk.
If your first child is older you may need to be thinking about how you will collect them from school with a baby in tow and how will you entertain them whilst you are also caring for a baby. It is a juggling act really, but it is important just to have a plan.
Are you thinking about adding another baby to your family? What considerations have you made?