Recently I completed my first 10km race something that less than two years ago I could never have fathomed doing in a million years and I did it in a very respectable time of 1:02 (since it was 30 degrees I was thrilled just to be able to do it!), but in the midst of feeling proud of myself I also started to think about why I did it to start with. Why did I start running and why did I set myself this goal? It all comes down to the fact that one day they will be grown….
One day they will be grown and they won’t need me anymore. Well, they probably will as I still need my parents, but it will be different. I won’t be their everything. I won’t be the person they turn to for every little thing and they won’t be calling mummy three thousand times a day. At the moment that rather sounds like bliss, but I am fairly sure that the silence will be rather deafening to me.
This is one of the issues that strikes me about being a SAHM what happens when that role doesn’t exist anymore? Can you make yourself redundant? I must check the employee manual to see what the redundancy policy is. I hope they pay more than statutory! My children are still little, but the twins will go to nursery later this year and whilst everyone still spends much of their lives plaguing me for attention I do already feel the change especially in my eldest little who at 7 years old is starting to desire more and more independence. Gone are the days when he might linger by my side for half a birthday party – he now barely has time to say goodbye before he races off to join his friends and so it should be, but where does that leave the mummy?
This is sounding rather maudlin; it isn’t meant to as yes one day they will be grown, but that isn’t the end of the fun! I am also looking forward to years of having fun with my crazy crew; many summer holidays, school plays, sports days and all of the other great things that come once they are at school. I was merely thinking about the change in my role that is coming up. From October my girls will be in nursery 2.5 days per week and so for the first time in 8 years I won’t have a small child or baby to consider in my plans for the day. I will need to find a new direction and activities or goals that are outside of my children so that when they are all at school I will be busy and fulfilled.
Go back to work
One option would be to go back to work, but this doesn’t seem like a practical option as I will still need and want to be present for school drop offs and pick ups. Once they are at school I will have 3 assemblies per term so would probably be the world’s worst employee.
I do plan to increase the amount of time I spend on this lovely blog though and try to grow my CV writing and career coaching business.
I have seen my contribution to the household as being childcare for the past few years and so now that this won’t be needed so much well not through the hours of 9-3pm I would like to make more financial contribution
I already work out a lot and have managed to lose some 3 stone since having my twins 3 years ago, but I could be fitter still. The annoying mummy tummy is still clinging on for dear life so I am setting myself a goal of working out at least 4 times per week in the hopes of shifting that stubborn pouch!!
We holiday in France every year and one of our joint goals (dreams) would be to buy a holiday home in France so I am thinking that I need to brush up the old French. It does get better every summer and I can get by, but I would love to be able to properly speak French and also for the children to be able to speak French. So this year is the year. I am going to learn French. If anyone has an app or language learning programme they would recommend let me know!
Those of you who are my friends may have noticed that I have been MIA for the past few years. This has to change and I plan to be a better friend going forward. Caring for these littles has occupied my thoughts constantly and so I have neglected my friendships. A goal is to reconnect with my friends and continue to develop my newer friendships.
Sort out the house
Since the twins were born I have been filing everything in the deal with it once they are a nursery pile. Woe bedtide anyone who opens a cupboard in our house!! I cannot defer this anymore and so I will be sorting out the house this year
My husband works from home one day a week. He is working and I am off out and about with the kids so I don’t see him much during these days, but once the girls are at nursery I am really looking forward to us being able to have lunch together and on our own once a week.
So official goals for the change in my mummy role and plans for the fact that one day they will be grown are now in writing! I hate to fail so I will be getting it done and hopefully this will ease the slight ache in my heart when all I hear is quiet two days a week…