toddlers are embarrassing

Toddlers are embarrassing!

When my children are older it is a given that they will find me an embarrassment at some point or another, but here’s the thing I am determined to be embarrassing whenever possible.  It will be payback time…  Toddlers are embarrassing and in 10 years time it will be my turn to say inappropriate things, but hopefully the pelvic floor will hold up enough that I don’t wee on the floor as they have so very many times…. 


toddlers are embarassing

Yesterday I read an Instagram post (I can’t find it to credit the writer so if anyone knows let me know) where a small child did a great big poo next to another picnicking family – oh the shame!! 

That got me thinking about all the times that my toddlers have embarrassed me and I thought I would share some of the best ones with you to give you a little giggle.  I also asked other bloggers to share and share they did.  I had so many great responses that I got to spend my Friday night having a jolly good laugh and probably have enough ideas to do a follow up post (I will save that for a grey and miserable day when I feel I need cheering up)  Anyway I hope this makes you smile and gives at least someone having a bad day with their littles a chance to say ‘it could have been worse…’

  •  In a shoe shop one of the boys announced ‘Mummy I am peeing’  and true to his word before I could do anything he opened his legs wide and sure enough peed all over the floor and all over the shoes he was trying – purchasing decision made!

  • A new cleaner started and she spoke very little English.  When she was finished cleaning she seemed a bit stressed.  Eventually we determined that she couldn’t find her shoes.  We looked everywhere and there was no sign…  I then noticed that my son was very quiet so I asked him had he seen the shoes.  He said yes.  He was only just two so we couldn’t get much more out of him than that, but after much pointing I discovered, to my shame, that he had posted her shoes through the cat flap and it was raining.  It was not just spitting oh no….  I could see Noah working on an ark just in case it was raining so much!!  We actually had to pour the water out of her shoes.  I couldn’t even lend the poor girl a pair of mine as she had the tiniest feet ever!  Nor could I adequately explain as she couldn’t understand me.  I don’t think I will ever forget the sad sound of her squelching her way down our hallway – mortified!!

  • Now to one of the ladies who is cheeky as you like…  One day the school caretaker was teasing her by asking was she staying for school that day.  She was having none of it and replied ‘I’m not staying here.  I don’t even go to nursery bum bum head!’

  • We are Catholics and the children attend Catholic school so Jesus is a name they are very familiar with.  One Saturday we attended an ordination mass, which for those that don’t know, is very formal and grand with lots of ceremony and the place was packed! Our then 3 year old spent much of the mass exclaiming at the top of his voice ‘ I am Jesus Christ’  It was like he was stuck on repeat.  I mean what are you supposed to do with that information 😉

I was that embarrassing toddler!

Now since I am sharing what my children have done to me I thought it only fair to share how I embarrassed my parents… 

When I was a toddler we lived in Norway and one day in a rather nice restaurant where everyone was speaking Norwegian (it was not a given that everyone spoke English back then) I was playing with a collapsible giraffe.  I don’t know if you remember these toys (it was a hundred years ago), but anyway you pressed a button and the animal collapsed.  So every time I pressed the button the giraffe would hit its head on the glass in front of me and clearly this was bugging me as all of a sudden I exclaimed ‘ stop doing that silly bugger’  Needless to say the whole place all of a sudden spoke English…

embarrassing toddlers

I could go on, but now it is over to you…

Kate Everall shared that her toddler shouted:

 “Well done, mummy! You did a poo!”

At the top of his voice so the neighbors could probably hear.

Kate Evans: When my eldest was about 3 we were in the supermarket when she randomly said to the person next to us in the aisle
“Mummy got a great big cock. It’s in a big box in the kitchen.”
She wasn’t pronouncing the ‘l’ – I’d just had the wall clock delivered for our new kitchen. Mortifying!
Kelly-Anne Combes My daughter on the top of a climbing frame said
“I’m the king of the castle and you’re the dirty asshole”.
The park was full and I was mortified. 
Charlie Beswick I had a local reporter come to the house to take some photos of my boys. Oliver welcomed him in and said
“oh, just to let you know that my mum has lit some candles so you think we are posh” FML 1f644🙄 
Amy Fell Chatting to the neighbour over the fence while hanging the washing out when the voice of my toddler shouted at full volume
‘Mummy, why are your knickers so big?’
Silence from the neighbour. Silence from me
Kate Holmes: Collected mine from nursery and was planning a trip to pub but that sounded bad so I said
“Shall we go and see Fido?” who was the pub dog and my son said “Oh you mean we are going to the pub!”
Abi Jones When my potty-training 2 year old said to a stranger in the toilet
“I have a little willy, Henry (his baby brother) has a tiny willy and Daddy has a BIG willy!)”
For a 2 year old his speech is very developed so sadly it was very clear what he said 1f648🙈
Pete Chatfield My daughter told her new playschool teachers that her favourite food for lunch was crap.
I had to explain that she couldn’t say crepe properly! 
toddlers are embarrassing
There were lots more that lovely bloggers shared with me and they were all great.  I wish I could include them all, but the post would simply be far too long, but thank you to everyone who shared their experiences with me and made me smile lots… 

Now lovely readers it is your turn…  Any treasures you would like to share?  All of our toddlers have said or done embarrassing things and I just love this type of thing so please do share and I can make this a regular cheer us up post.

53 thoughts on “Toddlers are embarrassing!”

  1. Christina lloyd

    As mother of kirstyanother embarrAssing stoty was when we were living in Norway and my husband brought some young men that were over from london to see how the company ran in BergaN . She sat at the table And Asked wheres my fork In knife , need i explain hoW the fork word sounded

  2. …another one from mass for us. littlest angel was a good, and clear talker, at quite an early age. and she found mass boring (go figure!). a visiting priest from africa was giving a sermon in heavily accented english. after a few minutes, littlest angel piped up with “well, that is just nonsense!”.


    1. Thanks for commenting. This is my 5th year of having a toddler and it will all be over soon enough. At that point I know I will be sad

  4. So funny! I love these stories as weve all been there!
    I taught in a cathlolic school ince and we would have a class mass once a year. I tAught recepTion and all the PARENTS were there. One child calls out, “that man goes to my church!” It was the prIest. Another child says, ‘no, its an angel, silly!’ Love it! #dreamteam

    1. Oh wow you are just starting my favourite bit of mummyhood so far 18mths – 3yrs is just the cuttest. Totally get your future ammunition ready! Thanks for joining the #DreamTeam this week

  5. It is so funny how the most mortifying moments end up as fond and happy memories in the end. Thanks for sharing one of mine in this awesome post #dreamTeam

    1. Your posts always make me giggle so I am very glad to have been able to return the favour even if it did result in unfortunate urination 😉 #DreamTeam

  6. I remember when my eldest was a toddler we went grocery shopping. when standing at the checkout till a lady took the pack of tampons out of her trolley and my daughter shouted “my mommy also use those”. i could feel the warmth in my cheeks as i turned red #dreamteam

  7. Toddlers are so embarrassing! i can’t believe he peed on the floor in the shop my gosh! the bad news is they keep being EMBARRASSING even after the toddler years – like shouting out questions about why people are fat when they are sitting cheek my JOWL with you – argh!!! thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely and it was great to meet you at pp xx

    1. I know me either. I was entirely mortified. Today one of the twins peed in a sandpit too!! We are not going to be welcome anywhere by the time this is over lol!! It was lovely to meet you too and I will definitely drop you a message next time I am heading to your neck of the woods. Kx

  8. HAha! Kirsty, i’ve yet to stop laughing. These are priceless. It’s funny what they come out with, especially when they are very little. What did you say when your little one announced they were jesus christ!!? LOL!! What a classic. Thanks for being a brilliant guest host on the #Dreamteam. Looking forward to having you back next week xx

    1. I didn’t know whether to drop at his feet and say my prayers or ignore him and hope he stopped – I went with the latter! It was so funny, but I can’t tell you how wrong the crowd were for that gag 😉 It was my pleasure to guest host. I had fun and am looking forward to doing it all over again next week xxx #DreamTeam

  9. This is absy wonderful tonread and thanks for the heads up i now know what Not to look forward to in the coming years #dreamTeam

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