If you have been to Navigating Baby before you will probably already know that I am a boy mom and a girl mom, but what is the difference? Is it even different being a boy mom than a girl mom?
What to expect
This post is just our experience of parenting both boys and girls. As with many of my posts it is a light hearted look at the subject.
If you are a girl mom expecting a boy and you want to know what to expect this could be just what you need to read especially if you are a bit daunted by the prospect of becoming a boy mom.
Ok let’s get into it!
Boy Mom Vs Girl Mom is it even different?
I was a boy mom first in fact for 4 years I had two little boys and so my first experience of being a parent and all of my learning was done with boys. Prior to that I had always assumed I would have little girls as my family is fairly devoid of boys so imagine my surprise when the first little boy arrived and then a second?? I didn’t know where to start.
When the baby is little the differences between being a boy mom and a girl mom are very small really. It is just the anatomical differences that you need to learn about to make sure its all clean etc… It is once they start walking and climbing that you may start to see differences between the boy mom and the girl mom especially if you are faced with two first time parents…
Ultimately, in my opinion, the job of a parent is to raise decent humans who are happy, healthy and confident in themselves. The way to do that varies from child to child. We are all different after all and so I don’t think that parenting is fundamentally different as a boy mom to a girl mom.
I know I want to teach them all the same basic life lessons, but due to society and the way it is there are some things that I think girls need to know (and believe me I don’t think it is right that I have to teach them to be more careful than their brothers or not to walk alone at night, but it is reality) that I may not have to labour so much with the boys and then other things such as this whole ‘boys being boys’ nonsense that I would focus more on with the boys.
I am also perhaps more focused on mental health with the boys as I can see already that they instinctively don’t share their feelings as much and so we focus on talking.
Ultimately though being a boy mom or a girl mom or both, like me, is a journey with many bumps in the road and we all just navigate it the best way that we can. With that said here are some of the amusing differences I have noticed in my 10 years of being a boy mom and 6 years of being a girl mom.
The things you will discover as a boy mom vs girl mom
The boy mom will undoubtedly get covered in pee from the fountain at least once a week until she learns to keep it covered with a nappy or cloth mid change…
The girl mom will learn there are crevices where poop can hide that you never even knew about!!
Now of course every child is different and not all little boys are rambunctious, fearless looney tunes like my two were *still are, but my general observation is that toddler boys tend to be more physical and frankly crackers when it comes to a soft play centre.
It is in these god forsaken places that I first noticed a difference between boy moms and girl moms. The mom of the toddler boy is typically caught somewhere between I am relaxed as they are physically capable and always run until they hit something and OMG get down from there!!!! The girl mom (typically first born girl moms) can, in my experience, more often be found trailing their daughter and wincing every time a boy toddler goes near her.
The boy mom is often more of the opinion that the toddler is robust. She may also check less on the toddler due to the belief in his ability and so could be distinctly annoying to the girl mom who wishes that the boy toddler throwing himself down the slide head first would get lost so her little girl could spend her desired 10 minutes at the top of the slide debating whether to go down at all…
Believe you me the boy mom needs to become comfortable with mud and it covering every part of their son’s trousers whenever possible. It is like my boys have radar for a muddy puddle, grass that is a little boggy or indeed where the worst place to fall over would be.
Just last week we went to a light show and had planned to take everyone out for dinner afterwards, but we couldn’t as eldest son (now 10) had decided to do a huge grass slide as it was fun and ended up covered in mud and really rather wet and soggy.
I recommend buying a pair of wellies as soon as your first son is born as, in my experience, boys just don’t care if it is raining. If they are playing they are playing and they don’t notice cold, wet, dark or anything else until such a time that you ask them to go home and then of course they are freezing, tired and hungry all at the same time.
This is a new revelation for me as a boy mom, but people always said that boys will eat you out of house and home. I didn’t really notice that at all until recently and now my 10 year old, who is the slightest little thing, basically never stops eating.
He can demolish a plate of pasta bolognese before I have even lifted my fork. It is quite the sight!! Then as soon as he has finished dinner and had seconds he will be back saying can I have a snack. I don’t know where it all goes as his trousers are so baggy we have to take them in so he can even wear them. I need to get hold of his metabolism for me…
I cannot imagine what this will be like once his younger brother also starts to eat at this rate. So boy moms start stockpiling pasta now!
Bundling and Fighting
This one is something I have seen in many families where there is more than one boy. Almost seconds after my boys have finished eating and have a burst of energy they want to BUNDLE!!
They are perhaps never happier than when they are rolling around on the floor; wrestling and jumping on one another. As a boy mom this may be difficult for you to adapt to. I know it was *read still is difficult for me to understand. I still have to fight the urge to break it up and the noise of it sends me almost bonkers.
If you are a girl mom or maybe have just one boy you are likely to be unfamiliar with this level of absolute nonsense.
So if you see two brothers rolling around and jumping on one another whilst their mother just stands by don’t be alarmed. She probably isn’t just letting them kill one another. They are probably just having fun – I don’t get it either and I’d say most boy moms don’t, but we have learnt to adapt and accept that they need to do it…
As a boy mom you will almost certainly be required to develop an appreciation for sticks and be able to discern the difference between an awesome stick and a slightly mediocre stick at 100 paces or you will not be any use to your boys *girl moms you are unlikely to escape needing to appreciate sticks in its entirety, but in my experience it is more of a passing phase than a full on obsession for which they may be willing to kill
This is most certainly not true for many of you boy moms out there, but statistically boys are proven to be less likely to enjoy reading and as we all know reading is a vital skill to support all aspects of academic learning and evidence suggests that those who read for pleasure are more likely to achieve success within education.
So if you have one of the very many reluctant readers out there then boy moms – me too!! I have two of them and the battle lines have often been drawn over reading so I feel you.
You might enjoy my post on reluctant readers for some extra ideas to help them find their way to books. For this boy mom it is an ongoing process, but the things that have had the most success so far are me reading books to them so they can see how good stories can be and finding books that are a bit grim and funny; you know ones that mention burps, farts and snot!
These Mr Gum books for example were a hug hit.
Speaking of burps, farts and snots; if you are about to become a boy mom prepare yourself for many conversations and much hilarity about all forms of bodily functions.
If you have a male partner also prepare for him to step back in time to when he was a child and also snigger like beavis and butthead every time anyone farts.
If it is one of their twin sisters who farted then forget about it; the boys could be laughing for the rest of the night *shrugs shoulders in confusion.
My girls give me cuddles, of course, and I don’t go a day without them expressing their love for me, but the old adage is for sure true, in my experience, boys do love their mamas. My boys are far more likely to cuddle up on the sofa with me and watch a movie and they love nothing more than me reading to them.
Emotions and Friendships
I think boy moms have it on the emotions front as once you ride through the toddler stage boys seem to have a period of relative emotional peace. Not so with the girls. The emotional outbursts and screeching is definitely continuing in the girls.
The boys also have NO friendship dramas whatsoever. the worst friendship issue we have ever had was recently when one of the boys fell out with a friend over who tackled who unfairly in football. Even that was really just quiet seething for a while and is now all sorted again.
I know from other girl moms with slightly older girls than mine that this is just not the case with girls. I also remember *just about as it was a long time ago my childhood friendship drama with a girl named Amy. We couldn’t have been more than about 8, but I was broken hearted briefly. That was one of many!
Final Thoughts on Being a Boy Mom
Girls definitely seem to have more emotional friendship drama than boys and that makes for an easy ride through much of primary school. You do have to deal with the adrenarch stage (hormones) which does involve much anger and wailing, but from memory puberty in girls is far worse than that.
So boy moms it is messy, it is loud and they are a lot, but being a boy mom is often less complicated I find. Their needs and wants are easier to determine often than the girls and the friendship dramas are definitely reduced.
My nanna always said that boys were easier to raise as they just needed to be fed and walked… I don’t know if it is that simple, but there is certainly some truth in that. My boys need love, food, freedom to run and use their physicality and minecraft – of course they need minecraft.