When you are a twin mummy there are certain things that well meaning strangers say to you at least a hundred times a day. Sometimes, especially when they are little its like being a z list celebrity. People stare a lot and often point. This happens most when they see me with all four littles. I can almost see people desperate to ask if they are two sets of twins and preparing to commiserate with me. Just for the record I am pretty happy about having created these gorgeous, noisy and slightly bonkers humans. I am fairly used to this over 2 years in to the world of being a mummy to multiples, but there are still some things that people say that make me want to tip over the edge!
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In a rational frame of mind you know that people don’t realise that they are the 13th person to say the very same thing that hour. As a reasonable human you realise that they don’t see that asking a perfect stranger about their ability to conceive naturally is irksome. Why people don’t see this as overstepping remains a mystery to me, but still as a reasonable human and one who likes to see the best in people I would usually let this slide. I say usually as…. You understand these things, but when you become a twin mummy and are running on twin mummy sleep levels I don’t know that you are a reasonable human being some days. So when you have heard the same question or ‘witty’ comment 1000 times it really is so very hard to not scream!
So if you want to help out a twin mummy and there are lots more of us about the place these days so you may very well come across one today… here is my quick guide on things not to say to a twin mummy and why.
10 things not to say to a twin mummy
- Are they Identical? (Fair enough if they look very similar I suppose, but if they are boy/ girl twins?? Can I suggest Mr or Mrs passer by that you first look at them before asking this)
- Are they twins? (not so annoying really)
- Are there twins in your family? (implied search into whether IVF was the source)
- Did you conceive naturally? (Really – to a stranger? Would I walk up to anyone else and ask did you have sex to make that baby?)
- You have your hands full! (We know – we were up with them all night and have spent the morning chasing them around the place. We know!)
- Twins on your 3rd time round. Unlucky! (that’s just rude)
- How great you got a girl amongst all those boys (awkward they are twin girls one just has short hair)
- You shouldn’t dress them alike (mind your business)
- You should dress them alike (see above comment)
- Don’t you look tired (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)
So next time you see a twin mummy my advice to you is to tread carefully. If that funny comment is burning a hole or you just have to ask one of these questions then look out for the signs that she is about to blow. Key indicators are gritted teeth, slight glint of crazy in the eyes, the shakes from too much caffeine and a very fake smile that borders on a grimace. She may be teetering on the edge… Take cover – nothing hath fury like a twin mummy scorned!! You have been warned people.
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